1000 Years of MaBill
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: The story you did not know you needed until now. A series of one shots and drabbles that revolve around the two. What ifs, AU's, In U's, hidden scenes, one shots in general. Telling the stories of the relationship between the good girl and the big bad demon. MaBill.
1. Chapter 1

**The plot bunnies! They're attacking! Rather than try and make out a ton of full length stories for the ship, drabbles and one shots rein supreme. We'll be seeing a few fun AU's including a fairly tale one, and everyone's favorite suave mobster (See "Shattered Star.") making a return. For the most part, stories will be rated "T." Rather than make a new story, I just took "Rainy Nighys" as my base due to my impatience to get this out there. So if you've already read it, don't bother paying attention to chapter two. **

**Title: A Happy Family**

**Summary: A series of early life drabbles, showing glimpses of a families' starting years.**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Family/Humour**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

_Four months..._

Early sunlight streamed through the windows, lighting the kitchen with the sun's rays. Bill sat at the kitchen table, trying to convince himself he was awake. Meanwhile, Mabel was debating to herself how to tell him something, but was interrupted.

"Could I have a coffee please?" He asked with well-practiced puppy-dog eyes.

She just shook her head.

"You don't need to use the puppy eyes on me, I already made some." She replied handing him a mug.

"Thank you dear." He said, allowing her to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"You need to shave again." She added.

"If I recall, stubble is manly."

"Just drink your coffee."

Just to make a point, he took the still steaming mug and took a sip. Only to spit it out across the table.

"Why is there salt in my coffee?!"

With a grin Mabel said;

"Borrowed the idea from Lazy Susan." She said glancing down at the mess.

"Mabel my dear, you're crazy."

"Nope. Just pregnant."

It was probably a good thing that the coffee was no good in the first place, because now was spread out all over the floor.

* * *

_Five months..._

"Twins right?" She asked the doctor.

The doctor looked at her strangely.

"They run in the family." The woman explained.

"No miss Pines, you're having triplets."

It was then, her wonderful husband decided it was a good time to faint.

* * *

_Seven Months..._

Mabel was seven months pregnant, and he still had no idea how the crazed mood swings worked. His normally sweet wife had turned into a raging demon. And that was saying something. He had been both metaphorically and literally tiptoeing around her. The woman's wrath was too scary. He shivered.

But early mornings required coffee, and he would need it to get through this Saturday. Making his way to the kitchen, he froze. Sleeping on the family room couch was Mabel. She was laying on her back, snoring quietly. Her brown hair was a curly mess, and dark crescents lined under her eyes. It looked like the first real sleep his wife had gotten in a while, and he knew that death would not come quickly if he woke her up.

Softly, he tried to walk past, but the wooden floorboards were squeaky. Pausing in the middle of his step. Staring up at the ceiling as if some force could hear him, he begged;

"Please, please, please."

In the middle of his begging, his prideful side dragged out.

"Am I begging? Nonsense! She's only seven months pregnant, practically breathing fire, and a glare that could melt steel. I'm Bill Cipher! Ex dream-demon extraordinaire and world's greatest husband! She loves me too much to kill me!"

"Would the world's greatest husband be interested in shutting up? I'm trying to sleep." Mabel's voice said, deep from sleep.

He felt the colour drain from his face. So much for not waking her up. Instantly, he stuttered out apologies.

"Save it."

"I'll just go get my coffee then." The blond said hastily.

"Ah!" The woman said, holding up a hand.

"Yes dear?"

"Come closer."

He took a small step.

"Closer."

A few more.

"Closer."

Barely a step. It was the moments when she was the calmest that scared him. One could never tell when she would explode into a screaming, terror-inducing wife.

"Goodness! I'm not going to bite off your head! I'm sick of being left alone! A kiss would be nice at least."

He gave a sigh of relief and gave her a quick peck on the lips. She smiled and closed her eyes, nesting back into the couch. He started to walk back to the kitchen when Mabel said without opening her eyes;

"I'm starving, could you go out and buy the largest humanly amount of chocolate possible?"

Forgetting his situation for a moment, he replied;

"Are you sure?"

Too late he realized his mistake. Suddenly, he found himself face-to-face with the woman he loved. While normally, this was a more pleasant experience involving a few kisses, it was terrifying now. She pulled his face closer with a sharp tug to the collar of his shirt.

"Unless," She hissed, "you've been been _pregnant _with _triplets _for _seven months_, I suggest, you get the chocolate!"

"B-but Alex says-"

"I don't care what doctor Hirsch says! He's a _guy_! And so are you! You can't even imagine what I'm going through!"

"Yes dear."

"Don't you _yes dear _me! Get. My. Chocolate!"

He gave a small squeak and rushed out of the house and practically leaped into his car. It was already hard enough to understand women when they _weren't _pregnant.

* * *

_Nine months..._

"Drive! Drivedrivedrivedrive!"

The sound of tires squealed across the pavement as Bill drove sixty miles over the speed limit.

"I'm driving!"

"Faster! No turn there!"

With record breaking speed, he pulled up on the hospital parking lot, running over three hedges and a squirrel in the process.

"Ahhhh! Hurry!"

...

...

...

The blond sat in the waiting room listening to the ticking of some distant clock. The room was greasy and worn out, with colourful posters telling him every time he ate a slice of pizza, a minute was taken off his life. It was a futile attempt to make the room look cheerful, and did not help his nervous state.

What ifs ran through his mind every time the clock ticked.

6:15 Would she be ok? What gender of the kids be?

6:16 What if she lost the kids?

6:17 What if he lost her.

6:18 "Mr Cipher. She'll see you now. You're a father to three healthy babies!"

"Sir please, now is now is not the time to faint in relief."

* * *

_Five years..._

"Dad! Dad! DadDadDadDadDad!" William jr, or Will as he prefered to be called, ran into the house.

Bill looked down at his five year old son, setting down the paper. Barely five years old and he already reminded him of Will... Upper forces, he hoped the resemblance stopped there.

"Yes?"

"Dipper and Wendy got stuck in the tree again!" The little boy explained waving his arms.

Wendy the middle triplet by one and six minutes turned out more and more like her mother every day. But she had inherited his horrible temper. He just hoped like with Will, the resemblance stopped there. Luckily, Dipper the youngest by eight minutes, seemed to have received all of the calmer more laid-back attributes of the family.

He glanced over at Mabel. She shrugged and gave a look that said;

"You're their father."

He let Will lead him through the shack to where they were presumably stuck. He turned to look behind him a few times. Strange. He could have sworn he heard giggles.

"Flash make over!" The middle of the three yelled.

Much to his surprise, he was tackled on all sides.

"Ack! No! Not again!"

Goodness knows what life would have been like with any more than three kids. Just then Mabel walked into the hall, and looking down at her now pitiful husband, she said;

"Wendy!"

"Yes mummy?" She asked, placing an innocent expression on her face.

He gave a sigh of relief, he was saved. For now.

"That eye shadow doesn't work with him! Use blue and silver instead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmmm, I decided there should be more plain old regular stories from me. No drama, no plot twists, no denials of feelings. So here it is! A nice little one set in an AU which is just had nothing to do with Gravity Falls. Just two hearts, an umbrella, and a boring party.**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Humour/Drama**

**Pairing: I believe that there's only one pairing I've ever written for. And that, would be MaBill**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

Mabel watched the passing scenery with little interest from the back of the taxi. Rain was softly beginning to patter against the window as the city skyline started to light up in hues of black, blue, and gold. Absent-mindedly wishing she had her sketch book on her, the young woman decided that she would walk the rest of the way to the gallery.

"Here's fine." She indicated to the driver.

He pulled over and merely said;

"That'll be six eighteen please."

She handed the driver the change, and watched as the bright yellow and black checkered car drove off, before setting off walking to her destination. At first, she allowed the gentle spray to hit her face, but she remembered that the dress code required at least _some _make up on her face, and streaks of mascara were (according to her friends at least) not becoming of a young woman.

She pulled out her umbrella just as the light downpour became more of a torrent, and an unexpected gust of wind tugged the umbrella from her grasp. The young woman gave a small yelp, trying to catch it, but at the same moment something obscured her vision. A top hat?

"I believe that's _my _hat." A voice said dryly.

She pulled the hat out of the way so she could see, but held a firm grasp on it as to not let the wind blow it away again. The owner of the hat looked down at her half-annoyed, half-amused. It was then, she noticed what he was holding.

"And I believe _that_, is _my _umbrella. "_  
_

He gave a small chuckle, and held the black umbrella out of her reach, but still over his gradually soaking hair.

"It's raining and I still need to walk a few more blocks. I'll trade you back your hat for my umbrella." Mabel offered.

"Why are you even walking in the rain all dolled up like that?" The stranger asked.

"Well you're walking too. And in a suit and bow tie no less." She replied, poking his chest with an accusing finger.

It was his turn to blush and cross his arms defensively, which resulted in the shelter of the umbrella being taken away. The rain made his once slicked-back dirty blond hair begin to cover his eyes which shone with a not very convincing pleading look. Not being one to snub a person in need, she sighed and asked;

"Which way are you walking?"

"Sixty eighth street."

She brightened a little at this.

"Really? Me too."

He looked down at her attire and realized that he, like him, was dressed for a swanky affair. From what he could see in the rainy darkness, the young woman was wearing a simple black wrap-around dress cut a the knees, with more elaborate silver earings and a necklace, contrasting the fairly simple yet classy appearance of the dress.

"You heading to the exhibition at the gallery?"

She nodded and began to stride down the sidewalk. He followed, holding the umbrella over the both of their heads. They continued the walk in silence, dodging the glassy puddles of water that had formed on the sidewalk. During the silence, both sneaked curious glances at the other when they thought they were not looking.

She saw that his sharp features were slightly lined as if he were often scowling. But one could not call him unattractive by any standards. With such deep blue eyes and cheek bones, it took no stretch of imagination to see that he was good-looking. But if not for the confident way he held himself, he wouldn't be much of a head turner.

He, on the other hand, noticed right away the air of elegance around her. And from what he could see in the passing light of cars and city transportation, she only had a little makeup on, highlighting her features. She seemed accustomed to this sort of dress, but did not look like she totally enjoyed it. The young woman wobbled a little in her silver and black spike heels that looked more like the belonged on the set of _Dracula. _Playing the stake used to kill the vampire.

"What's with the knives for heels?" He questioned in an attempt to make conversation.

"To defend myself against vampire and other monsters. Don't you know high heels are the best way to keep back the undead without raising suspicion? "

He smile a little and replied;

"What monsters?"

"All those boring slobs I'll have to deal with at the exhibition."

"Then why bother goi- Car!"

Swiftly, at the last second he managed to shield her from the onslaught of water, allowing the spray to farther soak him. Both reddened a little at the close proximity and suddenness of the action. They held each other's gaze for a moment, panting slightly. She was the first to step away and set off walking again.

"You're soaked!" She chided, still a little flustered, "What was the point of the umbrella if you're never going to use it?"

"Well, now you can hardly call me a boring slob. The monster part is still debateable though. Anyone who is willing to do _that _must be interesting."

She continued to blush and said;

"Oh sorry! You're quite the contrary to all those other fools I have to be social with."

"Like I said before," the man said, shrugging his shoulders, "Why bother going then?"

She didn't answer at they stopped in front of the gallery. It looked like any building in the city from the outside. Tall, rectangular and mainly glass and steel. But seeing as it was already past normal opening hours, most of the main lights were off, only the ones on the first and top floors were all on. Leaving a band of gold standing at the top and base of the building. A large banner was mounted on the front steps. Announcing that there was an exhibition of works that were for sale, along with a smaller party being hosted by the galleries' director Mabel Pines.

He helped her up the steps, ridiculous shoes and all, and inside the building. Instantly, a flurry of people were around her, chatting excited about something or the other. He watched despondently as the crowd dragged her away, not even giving him the chance to give farewells. She gave him an apologetic look, and mouthed;

"Talk to you later?"

"Towel sir?" A snooty voice asked.

"Yes please." He answered, taking the towel from what appeared to be the door man.

"The bathrooms are that way if you want to fix your appearance sir. And may I remind you, the dress code calls for a hat."

"But I'm wearing a-" He froze, realizing she still had his hat.

"It's quite all right sir, I saw you walk in with Miss Pines. Why on earth your hat though? You have an umbrella right there."

He looked down his hand and groaned. After all that, she still had his hat, and he, the umbrella. Wait. Did that worker say she was Mabel Pines?

"Yes, that's her." The elderly man said, guessing what he was thinking. "The exhibition will be taking place on the thirtieth floor sir. And good luck, in trying to get all those socialites away from her."

* * *

Rain continued to fall as the man stood on the edge of the party, dully watching as everyone in the room went up to talk to the director of such a prestigious art gallery. It had been over two hours now, and not once had she been left alone. She was no longer wearing the hat, but still held it, occasionally tracing around the brim of the silk hat.

He had originally come to view and possibly buy anything that had interested him, but now, the only thing that caught his attention was the woman. Farther waiting proved that clearly, she would not be left alone, only causing to make his mood worsen a little.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Mabel listened bored as another potential buyer decided to babble on about how wonderful the collection was and how amazing her works along with the others were.

_"Manipulative leeches." _She thought to herself.

The more senior guests wanted a cheap deal, the middle wanted powerful connections, and the few men and women she had met around her age either wanted the latter two, or to marry rich. She managed to get rid of the current parasite (looking for a cheap deal on a painting) and glanced around the room.

Her heart gave a small leap as she saw the man from before, looking neutral as ever, if not a little bored. They met each other's stare, and they both made a move to go talk. But just then, she felt a tap at her shoulder. It took all the young woman's self-control not to sigh in frustration. A glance at the man showed that he seemed annoyed too.

Turning to face the person, her first though was how it could even be possible to have such shiny platinum blond hair.

Hello Miss Pines." He said with a deep southern drawl as the eagerly shook her hand.

_"Rich marriage. " _She automatically decided.

He began a long speech about something or the other that eventually, she tuned out of. Searching around the room, she found the man, or "Cheek Bones" the privately assigned nickname she had given him. Catching his attention, she gave him a pleading look.

He smiled a little and shook his head before making his way over to the woman and her oblivious suitor.

"Excuse me but could I steal away my girlfriend for a moment?"

It was only from years of practice at these horrid social events was she able to hide her surprise at the statement. A comical look of surprise over came the other man, and he nodded letting the two stride off. A quiet buzz set over the party before people began to talk again.

"So that was why the two were so-"

"-and the hat."

"Not to mention how both of them-"

"-A match made in heaven really."

She lead him out of the room where the event was being held and onto a glassed in balcony that over looked the city. She waited till the door was closed to say;

"Girlfriend? Girlfriend?! That's the most cliché thing in the book!"

He smiled, a genuine smile she realized, leaving a slight fluttering sensation in her stomach.

"Did it not totally work though? You should have seen his face!"

The young woman couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh! Right! Your hat!"

She gave the hat a final longing pat before handing it over to him. He gave nodded in thanks and fixed it over his now messy hair.

"You know, I never caught your name, and I can't just keep calling you Cheek Bones."

"Cheek Bones?"

" 'S the first thing I noticed."

It was his turn to laugh, and he replied;

"It's William, William Cipher."

Neither knew what to say, and they both turned to face the view.

The beautiful panorama of the city skyline was partially obscured by the droplets of water running down the glass, smearing dark blues, violets, and blacks together. Flashes of silvery and gold light cut through the darkness outlining the large sky scrapers, and the roads below them.

The duo remained quiet, listening to the pattering of the water. Yet again, they began to sneak looks at each other due to lack of things to say. After a few more minute of the comfortable silence, she sighed.

"I should probably go back to those idiots now."

Internally, the man slapped himself. He had finally gotten the chance to talk with her, but they had barely said anything! With a sinking feeling, he nodded again and walked with her back inside. She looked around at the crowd with a defeated sigh.

"Do you think you could stay with me and drive off a few more of those snobs?" She whispered in his ear.

His heart gave a small leap, as she asked this.

"S-sure."

He took her arm and switched back to his usual intimidating aristocrat demeanour. Blinking a little in the well lit room, the couple chatted politely with the few couples that came up to them. None of the conversation really stuck with the man, he was more concentrated on the closeness of her arm and how soft her hands were.

Mabel was also feeling along the same lines, finding herself enjoying the event much more with Cheek Bo- William. The endless patience and dry remarks he shot back at the visitors were hilarious, normally by now she would have gone insane.

"I see ya'll are back now-"

Great, not this little persistent creep again. Before either of them could prepare themselves for the boredom and insincere flattery that was to come, there was a crash of thunder and the everything went dark. A few women screamed and a man's howl of pain was heard. When the lights flickered back on again, the man was on the floor holding one of his feet in agonizing pain. Face flaming red, she stormed out of the room hiking up what little she could of her skirts.

* * *

Mabel sat out on the steps in front of the museum, glaring out into the stormy, yet beautiful night. The young woman let the rain pelt down on her, possibly ruining her dress and hair. She felt like screaming at what she had to put up with, and now what would Cheek Bo- William think of her? If it wasn't for that white-haired jerk-

She heard someone's steps walking through the puddles that had formed and felt the rain being shielded from her.

"You're getting soaked you know." William said, holding the umbrella over her head.

"So? You were soaked too. Keeps people interesting." She replied.

"Speaking of which, I take back what I said about those shoes. It seems there are monsters everywhere. What did he even do?"

"He did enough to result in his foot's impalement."

"That bad hmmm?" He asked, sitting down next to her.

"That bad."

"Perhaps I could kiss it better." He offered.

"Oh really?" She challenged.

And so they did.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Date Night**

**Summary: Dipper is distraught by the fact that Wendy is going on a date with Robbie again, Mabel, in an attempt to cheer him up says she will spy on the date, by going on a fake date with the next person to walk through the Mystery Shack door. **

**Genre: Romance/Humour**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

Dipper and Mabel were in the Mystery Shack gift shop. Dipper was running the register because he had taken over for Wendy hoping she would be eternally grateful, or something along those lines. But to his dismay, it turned out she wanted the day off in order to get ready for a date with Robbie. They had an on and off relationship over the past four years. Currently, they were on.

In an attempt to cheer him up, Mabel was standing on her head.

"Cheer up brother! Where's that smile?"

The teen sighed and slouched against the scuffed wooden counter.

"No sighing in dismay inside the shack!" Stan yelled from outside.

He sighed again, and rested his head against the table. The old man walked into the shack to see why his great-nephew was ups- loosing profits.

"What's got you down kiddo?" Not wanting to sound too concerned, he gruffly added; "Sad workers mean less money."

Unlocking the register, Stan began to count the day's profits.

"Oh Dipper's just upset that Wendy's off on a date with Robbie." Mabel explained, not even wobbling on her head.

"Mabel! We're one dollar short! Were you stealing from the register again?!" Stan asked, pointing an accusing finger at his great- niece.

"What? Grunkle Stan I would never!" She replied, batting her hand. Just then, a dollar bill fell out of her sweater sleeve.

Stan picked up the dollar and waved it in front of her now sheepish face.

"Do you know what would happen to my business if you took a dollar from it every day? At this rate, I'll go bankrupt in-" He paused, counting on his fingers, "Tomorrow!"

"Grunkle Stan, according to this calculation, you'd never actually go bankrupt." Dipper said, holding up a calculator.

Stan paled a little, knowing that he couldn't lie when the boy's math skills. Snatching the calculator from the boy he glared down at it.

"What?! This thing is clearly broken!"

"It's not broken." Dipper said.

"Well it is now!"

With a quick snap, Stan broke if in half. He walked back out of the shack, muttering something about crazy kids them running his business to the ground. Dipper looked down at the broken circuitry, and rolled his eyes. Surprisingly, through all of this, Mabel remained standing on her head.

"Doesn't you head hurt?" He asked his sister.

"It hurts like crazy, but I'm going to keep doing it untill you smile."

"Mabel, having all the blood rush to your head is not going to make me smile."

The brunette frowned a little, before an idea dawned on her.

"Why don't you just find someone to go on a date with so you can spy on them?" She asked.

Just then, Stan ran back into the shack. Laughing, he said;

"Did I just hear _Dipper _and _get a date_ in the same sentence?"

The teen realized what she had said, and joined in on the laughter, miraculously staying on her head. Her brother scowled and crossed his arms.

"Well if you're so loveable, why don't you do it. _But, _you have to go with the next person who walks into the shack."

This stopped their laughter. Stan began to quietly chant;

"Do it, do it, do it."

"Dipper, the last time I said something like that, Grunkle Stan walked through the door. There is no way I'll-"

Just then, a customer walked into the shack. He looked to be around the twin's age, with dirty blond hair and sharp features, he was a looker for sure.

Mabel saw him first. Shocked, she fell down from her head stand and scrambled up to the register, pushing Dipper off the stool. Smoothing out her hair, she recited the Mystery Shack slogan to the customer.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack where we put the _fun_ in _no refunds, _and a penny saved is a penny you could have spent at the Mystery Shack!" She said at record speed. "I'm Mabel Pines but you can call me the girl of your dreams! I work the register every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and every other Saturday. Leaving me free for dates every Wednesday, Friday, every other Saturday, and Sunday!"_  
_

Dipper smacked his forehead, and the customer looked at Mabel confused.

"I'm just looking for Stanford Pines."

The crotchety old man looked at the customer suspiciously.

"Are you a safety inspector? "

"Do I look like a safety inspector?" He asked sarcastically, "I'm sixteen."

"Really? So am I!" Mabel interrupted. "Would you be interested in going on a fake date so I can spy on my brother's crush for him because he's a loser and can't get a date at the last minute?

"Ummm, sure?"

"Mabel you can't just go out on a date with some random guy! Who knows where he's been?!" Dipper said.

"I'm on your brother with this one. He seems... familiar. And besides, all your random dates with people ended horribly."

_"What am I not even here?!" _The blond wondered.

"What?!" Mabel asked scandalized, "Name one!"

"Well Jeff turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"There was that vampire."

"And Gideon, was well Gideon."

"Mermando lost me my job at the pool!"

Mabel looked between the two annoyed. It wasn't often Stan and Dipper actually got along, and now they had teamed against her!

"Dipper, Mr. Poolcheck would have either fired you, or eaten you alive!"

Stan looked down at the one dollar bill he was still holding. And said slowly;

"Seriously, there's something familiar with him."

The customer stared to sweat a little and glance around nervously.

"Dollar, green, Washington, buck, bill. Hmmm, bill..."

In the mean time, Mabel had shooed him outside with a few parting words. When Stan realized this, he shrugged, it probably wasn't important anyways.

* * *

"Pick me up at eighteen past six! We're going to the diner! I'll pay for my food, you pay for yours! And for goodness sake! Dress casually! No suit or hat or anything! Don't be late!"

All he wanted to do was get revenge on Stan. Make a few puns before reclaiming the journals and finishing that last pesky root of the Pines family. Hah. Root. Pines. He's have to remember that one. But back to the point. He was just after a little revenge and possibly some universe domination on the side. But out of nowhere, Shooting Star had appeared and- wait. Did he just get a date?

* * *

Standing out on the Mystery Shack porch, the demon wondered what he had gotten himself into. Stan was sitting on the porch couch, suspiciously glaring at him, while his great-nephew pretended to read while glaring at him. Something told the blond if he broke the date or did something to her, the pain would be horrible.

Just as he thought he could no longer stand the stares he was receiving, Mabel walked outside. Awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck he gave a shy;

"Hey."

She smiled a little and said;

"Hi."

"Mabel, remember. This is a _fake _date." Dipper reminded.

Mabel crossed her arms.

"Dipper, I was the one who came up the idea. I know what I'm doing. And random hot guy does too."

"You don't even know his name?!" Her twin asked.

The demon paled a little.

_"Fake name, fake name, fake name! Wait. Did she call me hot?!"_

"It's Will." He supplied.

Stan narrowed his eyes at this, farther deepening the glare as if it would make him confess to something.

"So _Will. _If Mabel is not back by eight sharp, expect death to be slow and painful." The old man said darkly

He gulped nervously and nodded.

As they walked away, Stan called after them;

"And use a condum!"

* * *

The rest of the walk was short. They made their way to the diner and let the crazy waitress with a lazy eye seat them. A few minutes later, another couple consisting of a pale teen wearing impossibly skinny pants, and the same red head that was always slacking off in the shack. This caught the young woman's attention, and any conversation they had before ended.

After dragging him on this "date" she was ignoring him. Not that Bill really minded. After all, he had been tricked into going on a fake date with her so she could spy on her brother's crush. Yeesh. Where did one even get those ideas? But as she continued to look around him, he felt his eye twitch. Just as he was about to say something the waitress came back.

"Are you two ready to order?" Lazy Susan asked.

"The usual for me please." The young woman said absent-mindedly, still staring past him.

"And you handsome?"

"Same as her." He told the waitress gruffly, glaring at the boy in skinny pants.

Lazy Susan nodded and seemed to notice something.

"Ahhh young love. Pitty your date's mind is else where."

"What? Love?! We're just-"

"Oh don't worry, I know what Stanford's like. Our secret handsome. Wink!"

Before he could even reply, she was gone to get the orders. Crazy old woman! Love! Of all the ridiculous notations! One did not fall for someone just after a half date! Let alone on one where he was being ignored. Not that he minded she wasn't paying attention to him.

He watched curiously as she scribbled down a few notes in a notebook.

"What are you recording?" The blond asked.

"Any important part of their conversation." She whispered without looking up.

Strange, from where he was sitting, it looked like a very intense game of tic-tac-toe. Just then, they stood up and walked out of the diner.

"Come on! Let's go! " Mabel said

"But we didn't even-"

He quieted his complained as she dragged him out of the restaurant and started to walk behind the couple.

"You know, I could swear we were being followed." He heard skinny jeans say.

The red head punched his shoulder and probably told him to lighten up because there were no more concerns from him.

"Could we slow down at least a _little_?"

Much to his annoyance, she rolled her eyes, but slowed down to a brisk walk. He offered her his arm, she took it with a light smile to show she wasn't really annoyed at him. The demon felt a small twist in his stomach as she did this, and gave her hand a light squeeze.

The sun was close to setting, and he nervously remembered Stan's warning.

"Sho- Mabel, I don't really want to die a slow and painful death. Do you know what time it his?"

She patted his hand, which did nothing to settle the butterflies in his stomach.

"We still have thirty minutes, you're safe." She reassured him.

As they rounded a corner, they found Robbie standing there facing the two. Mabel turned pale and tried to turn in the opposite direction.

"Hey Mabel. Didn't recognize you in when not in one of those sweaters." Said Robbie.

The demon figured Mabel was just nervous because she didn't want to find out she had been following them. He was proved wrong as he discovered how irritating the raven-haired teen was.

"Who are you?"

Just to get a reaction out of the two, he put a protective hand around her waist and said;

"She's my girlfriend."

The boy's eyes widened at this and he gave an almost comical "oh" before stalking off.

But before she could thank him for lying, they heard Robbie's sarcastic drawl say one more thing.

"Nice chest by the way, you should wear dresses more often."

She gasped in a mix of surprise and disgust, and made a move to go after him. As the demon heard this, he snapped. After a whole hour and a half of being ignored and denied of his dinner, this final quip made him see red. Angrily striding up to the arrogant teen, he tapped his shoulder. When he turned to face him, a nice satisfying sucker-punch connected with his face.

Walking back to her, he curtly said;

"Let's get you home before your great-uncle kills me."

* * *

Luckily, they made it back with two minutes to spare. They stood awkwardly on the porch, unsure of what to do.

"Sorry about the whole ignoring you for half the date thing." Mabel said sheepishly.

"No, it's fine, it's fine. And my own fault for not remembering the "fake" part in "fake date."

She looked up at him and added;

"And for preventing you from your dinner, and having a price put on your head by my great-uncle and brother. So much for a fake date."

"You know, we could always go on a real one?" He asked hopefully.

"I'd love to Bill."

"Umm, my name is Will." He tried to lie.

She put her hands on her hips.

"What am I? A complete air head? I know it's you. Blond hair, suit, taking all your self control not to call me Shooting Star. And Will is the other nickname used for William genius!"

She leaned closer and gave him a chaste kiss before running inside. He stood frozen and raised a hand to his cheek. A warm sensation flowed through him and a smile bloomed across his face. He stood there grinning until it was dark. He didn't even mind as Stan chased him off the property threatening to crash the wedding should there be one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a stupid humurous idea that came to me, I need to laugh right now and this was the cure. Just a head's up, this is pretty much all dialog. So don't say I didn't warn you. This will be continued some time later in the story.**

**Title: Mabel's Guide to Interviewing Evil Demons from the Nether-Worlds**

**Summary: The title says it all. Unfortunately the only demon available is Bill.**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Humour**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

"Welcome back eager viewers! Today on Mabel's guide to Interviewing Evil Demons-"

"Mabel, who are you talking to?" Dipper interrupted.

"The audience and my millions of adoring fans. Now stop talking!" She young girl snapped. "Now where was I? Ah yes, finding a demon to interview. Well folks, the only one I know probably hates me," A cheesy laugh track played in the background. "So we'll go find one ourselves!"

Dipper looked up from the book he was reading and said;

"Mabel that idea sounds extremely dangerous with a high chance of death."

The laugh track played again and Dipper looked around confused.

"Where is that coming from?"

This only resulted in more laughs.

"All right! That's creepy! Creepier than Bear-o! Dipper out!"

Her brother ran out of the room holding the book over his head as the laughter continued to play.

"Now where were we? We keep loosing where I am? Candy?"

"You were at finding a demon." A voice behind the camera whispered.

"Right! So let's go find one!"

* * *

Hours of searching through crowds later proved fruitless. Mabel gave a defeated sigh and lay down on the Mystery Shack floor.

"Well guys, there's only one more option left."

She pulled out a phone, set it to speaker and dialed a number.

"Yellow?"

"Hey! Would you be interested in doing me a favour?"

"Sure. I mean no! I mean, how'd you even get this number?!"

"What about a deal then?"

"No."

"A promise?"

"Negatory."

"All three journals!"

"You're lying. And even if you weren't it would be a no."

"Told you he hates me." She mouthed to the camera.

The invisible crowd laughed again.

"Why is there a 50's laugh track playing?"

"You know, if you did me a favour you could find out."

"The answer is still no."

"What about a half eaten package of Smile Dip?"

"You know Shooting Star. If I said I don't want all three journals, _what _would make you _think, _I wanted a half eaten bag of Smile Dip?!"

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

_A while later..._

"Please?"

"No."

"Why doesn't he just hang up?" Candy asked.

"Please?"

"All right! Jeeze kid! Also long as I never have to hear you say please again! So what is I have to do?"

* * *

"All right people!" Mabel said, shuffling her cue cards, "Let's get started."

She was sitting in the attic which was currently set up as if to look like a stage. Dipper sat next to her, shooting terrified looks between the camera and demon. He couldn't say anything because his mouth was duct taped over. A host of stuffed animals were off to one side, making up the crowd, and Waddles slept in the background.

"Question one. Favorite colour?"

"Clear." He replied.

"Clear is not a colour Bill!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not! You can't go through life or immortality or whatever it is you are, saying your favourite colour is clear! What's you favourite colour? I need to know so I can decorate this, I don't know, llama! What if you had to go to the paint store? They don't sell clear paint! What colour would you paint your living room ?!"

"I think I would know my favourite colour thank you."

"Are you sure it's not yellow?"

"Oh what just because I'm yellow that's my favourite colour all of a sudden?!"

But Mabel wasn't listening to him, she was scrawling down on a clip board;

_Favourite Colour: Yellow_

* * *

"And we're back after the break-"

"But we didn't have a break..."

"Yes we did!" She snapped again. "So question number five. Do you have a nick name?"

"No."

A track of a crowd gasping played.

"Did you hear that people?! He needs one!"

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, don't argue with me! So send in your ideas!"

"How are they going to send them to you?"

Mabel smiled.

"Oh that's too bad, we'll just have to go through all the nick names I came up for you!"

She pulled out a list and unfolded it, and unfolded it some more, until it practicaly reached the ground.

"Oh dear."

"Will?"

"No."

"Billy?"

"Absolutely not."

"Corn chip? Oh no wait, what about-"

"How about we just cut to the next segment of the show?"

"Well, alright then. Question number six. Are you made of corn chips?"

"Alright! That's it! I'm leaving!" The demon said, crossing his arms.

"Wait you can't leave! I need to know!"

"Must really know I'm made of-" the rest of what he said was too long and sciency for anyone to interpret.

Mabel, thoroughly confused by this walked over to her brother and said;

"Sciency side! Explain!"

"Mnnn." The boy said.

Mabel blushed a little, and muttered;

"Right."

She quickly pulled off the tape, much to the boy's pain.

"Ah! That stings! And what he said in basic terms is, he's made of Smile Dip."

Mabel turned pale, she looked at the demon, who rolled his eye. Slowly, she backed out of the room, taking a few steps at a time before running away screaming.

* * *

_Well, up next on Mabel's Guide to Interviewing Evil Demons from the Nether-Worlds, we have these questions._

_1. How old are you?_

_2. Why do you even have a last name?! Seriously. Are there that many evil yellow triangles floating around named Bill?_

_3. Since you're supposedly all knowing, what are the answers to these questions?_


	5. Chapter 5

******More laughs for you guys, this one taking into account the fact that, Bill isn't really that intimidating when it comes to height... and appearance in general. Or course, I might be overstepping some things, considering the beautiful, beautiful season two is in the works. Still can't wait to see what our favourite dream-demon is off doing in S2. Again, this is a lot of dialogue and a bit messy, but it's still funnish. I guess.**

******Title: Adorable**

******Summary: Couldn't the Pines family just be afraid of him?! Of course not! Instead Stan's great-neice decide to explain why he wasn't as fearsome as he thought. Lightish Mabill**

******Genre: Humour**

******Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

It was just your average day in Gravity Falls. Stan was just secretly building a gateway to unimaginable power in the Mystery Shack's sub-basement, while in the gift shop, Wendy and Soos were attempting to hide all of the glass objects they had broken. Wax Larry King's head was watching the pair in amusement from the vents, that was until a rat stole his one remaining ear. But the decapitated wax head was not the only thing watching. Dipper and Mabel were outside where a very evil, and not adorable in any way dream-demon named Bill was of course, watching.

What he was watching at the current time was not important, because he had chosen that exact moment to pay a surprise visit to the Pines Twins.

"I'm baaaaaaack!" Bill announced.

Dipper and Mabel looked between each other confused. Rather than run away screaming at his dramatic and formidable appearance, they just stood there.

"Hello? Aren't you going to run away screaming?" Bill asked the twins.

"Why would we?" Dipper asked.

"Why would we?! _Why would we_?!" He asked, his voice deepening. "You're supposed to be afraid of me! I'm your worst nightmare! I could kill you with a snap of my fingers!"

"Well, you haven't yet." Dipper pointed out.

"Besides," Mabel said, beaming as usual. "You're adorable!"

All right, that just took the cake. He was not adorable! There was nothing cute about him! He was evil, and they were supposed to be dead, or running away by now.

"I'm not adorable." He informed Mabel, deathly calm.

"Sure you are! Have you ever actually heard your voice before? You're like a little chipmunk!"

"And not to mention," Dipper added, "You're shorter than Gideon _with _your hat."

Suddenly, the demon was aware of how much taller the two twins were than him. They must have grown the past few summers. He wasn't _too_ short, they were just freakishly tall. Right?

"Speaking of which, your hat and tie are cute too! Can I have them?"

"What?! No! And there's nothing cute about them! They make me look more sinister!" He snapped, protectively holding onto his hat.

"No, they make you look like a doodle in a math text book, I mean, come on! You're even 2-D!"

"I'm not 2-D. I'm just very, very flat."

The not 2-D, very, very, flat demon found himself being pushed to the ground.

"If you're really not 2-D then you can get up on your own."

Of course, the one thing he could not do, and those brats found out. He swore he felt a headache coming on as the two continued the conversation.

"Dipper, there's nothing cute about a math equation!"

"Well then, what is he supposed do be compared to? A corn chip?"

"Well it makes more sense than math! Math never makes sense!"

"Good point." Fighting back a laugh, the teen said, "I guess you could say he's, _adorabill_!"

"Ha ha, very punny Dipper."

Here the mystery twins broke down laughing.

The demon rolled his eye. How long was the conversation going to linger on this? Didn't they realize he had other things to be doing? He attempted to push himself off the ground, but of course, it didn't work.

"Could I at least get some help off the ground?" He asked.

Mabel placed her hands on her hips.

"Not until you agree that you're adorable."

"But I'm not!" He said exasperated.

"Well then I'll prove it!"

Dipper looked at Mabel, concerned. He knew that tone, the one that seemed to say; I'm planning something. Knowing how most of Mabel's schemes ended, this was not going to be pretty.

"We'll find the most intimidating and or hideous person in Gravity Falls, and if in and official competition hosted by me, Mabel, they're more frightening than you, you have to... have to... I don't know, be hugged? And if I loose I'll leave you alone?"

"Mabel that's a horrible idea." Dipper informed her.

Bill was about to agree with him, when something occurred to him.

"Wait. So this is a deal of sorts?" He asked slyly.

Dipper saw where he was going with this and started;

"Mabel don't you dare-"

"It's a deal!"

"Did I just hear you say you were having a contest about who was the most adorable?" Gideon asked.

Dipper groaned and smacked his forehead. He could already tell what was going to happen, and decided to leave them to it.

"What are you doing out of jail short-stack?"

"Durland forgot to lock the cell door again." The albino explained. "Well, anyways, I'll obviously win the contest and Mabel's heart in the process, so I'll join! What's the prize anyways?"

"The winner gets to-"

"Mabel has to date them." He interrupted, knowing this would surely get him to join.

Mabel turned pale at this, and mouthed to him;

"Why would you tell him that?!"

"I'll join!"

* * *

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Mabel looked between the two contestants. Both evil, and both insane on several different levels. What had she just gotten herself into? The brunette shuffled through her cue cards.

"Err, welcome to Mabel's guide to, um, finding the adorable. I'm your host, Mabel."

She laughed a little awkwardly, trying to get rid of the tense silence.

"So! Let's introduce our two contestants. Gideon, an escaped convict! And Bill, who has been trying to kill my brother and great-uncle for the past few years! I have to date the winner... oh boy..."

"What?! I can't date you!" Bil protested.

"You were the one to change the hug into whatever this is! I can't date Gideon either! How about you get a hug and if Gideon wins, which he won't because I said so, I have to-" She gagged, "Date him."

A cricket sound effect played in the background, and the three looked between each other.

"So! Changing the subject! Questions... Number one, shoe size!"

"Four and a half."

"What does shoe size have to do with this? I don't even wear shoes!" Bill snapped, pointing to his feet.

But the teen continued with her list, recording answers as she went.

"Favourite colour?"

"Baby blue."

"I'm colour blind."

"What brand of mascara do you use?"

"Cover Girl."

"All right, now that's just ridiculous! Why would I wear mascara?"

Here she froze in her questions and looked at the two.

"You mean, those are your natural eyelashes?" She asked in awe, inching closer to him.

Feeling his personal space being breached, the demon hastily said;

"Yes. I mean no. I mean what ever will make me loose this insane competition!"

Gideon cleared his throat, annoyed how close her face was to him. That should have been him! Well, of course it would be after he won. Speaking of which, he should probably ask Mabel about the specifics of their date.

"Does six work for you Mabel?" He asked.

Mabel blanched again and snarled to the demon;

"You _better _win this contest."

Bill glared back at her, and snapped;

"Absolutely not."

He had been dragged into this, and he refused to help her. Why couldn't the Pines just do something normal for one and fear him like any other sensible people? But nooo! They just had to continue with their insane ways, and they were still, unscathed for the most part! None of them had panicked or run away screaming yet, and Stan's great-niece had the nerve to call him adorable of all things!

He was scary, right? What if he was losing his touch as a demon these past few years? After all, he had been humouring her for the past little bit despite his annoyance.

_"No. I'm fine! I'm just doing this because it amuses me. I'm still terrifying, and scary. There's no possible way I could win."_

"Congratulations! You won!"

Before either could react, Blubs and Durland pulled up onto the driveway. Running over to the group, Durland handcuffed Gideon and announced;

"You're under arrest for breaking of of prison! Again..."

The two officers dragged him off the set, but not before Gideon could say;

"Call me back Mabel!"

The teen gave a forced laugh and said;

"Yea, there is no way I'm going to call him back."

A cheesy laugh track played in the background.

"Well, this has been Mabel's guide to. Join us next time when, um. We talk about sweaters?"

* * *

_**Epilogue...**_

"So, I'm adorable. I think I need to go stare at a wall and re-think everything."

"No, you just need a change of appearance." Mabel said, beaming.

At this overly positive remark, the demon groaned and floated over to the shack wall. He began to hit his head against the wall, muttering something that suspiciously sounded like;

"Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable."

Stan walked by, and taking notice of the strange spectical snapped;

"Hey you! Stop ruining the wall!"

With out even bothering to say anything, he vanished. Presumably back to the dreamscape.

"Darn adorable demons! Ruining my property! Wait. What?!"


	6. Hourglass

**The plot bunnies, they're rabid, or should I say rabbits hehehe... This is sort of a mini series I'm going to have going on every now and then. Just for you reading pleasure, the chapters will be named for this story so you know when it updates. I don't think this could hold itself up as a proper fic seeing as I have no idea how I'd want it to end. It will bee fairly long though. Tell me what you think, maybe I'll continue it after I finish "Reality."**

**Title: Hourglass**

**Genre: Mystery/Hurt/Comfort/Drama/Angst**

**Summary: From the hands of one evil into another, Mabel finds herself making a deal with the worst of them all in order to keep her son safe. Or as safe as they can be once she had promised anything to him. Naturally, Bill already knows what he wants; Mabel broken beyond repair, and an heir. He begins to play mind games with Mabel as questions about her son's origin come into play, only father enforcing the quote; Don't make a deal with the devil.**

**Rating: T/M**

**Warning (For later in the story that is.): Graphic self-harm, and implied rape.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

Staggering through the woods, Mabel felt her already wildly beating heart speed up as she heard something behind her. It could have been the rustle of a leaf, or a snap of a twig, but either way, it was a clear indicator that she and Monty were being followed. Despite her urges for them to hurry, her son began to lag behind. She debated carrying him, but she found she could not even muster the ability to let go of his hand. The little boy knew better than to ask why they were running or where they were going, but he couldn't help but say;

"I'm tired."

"I know sweetie, I know. The woman replied between laboured breaths. "But we have to keep going ok?"

Yet she would have to eat her words as they both froze in their tracks. The two listened as they heard a familiar voice echoing on the wind. Both shivered despite the warm summer's night before starting off again. Their steps through the woods became less quite and more frantic as they tried to distance themselves from the dreaded voice. It grew fainter, but the sense of danger still lurked stronger than ever, and Mabel's maternal instincts were going crazy.

"You two look like you're in a bit of trouble, perhaps some help is needed?" Bill asked, materializing behind them. "Well, for a fee of course, but you know..."

Mabel had to bit her tongue in order not to scream. Bill, true to his egotistical nature as always had to make a dramatic entrance.

"W-what do you want?" Mabel stuttered.

"I never can seem to get a simple hello from people these days. Unless _what do you want_ and _get away from me _are now synonymous, and no one bothered to inform me?"

"You never answered the question. "

"What obligations do I have to answer your question when someone can't even say hello?"

"I don't have time for this. " Mabel hissed, turning around and walking off with a still shocked Monty in tow. Bill followed behind, just now taking notice of the little boy who had been shyly hiding behind her.

"Oh great, another Pines to deal with." The demon observed.

"You say that like there are a lot of us." The woman replied, not bothering to turn back and look at him.

"One kid is five times too many."

"That doesn't make any mathematical sense."

"Math is supposed to make sense? Anyways, introductions!" Handing Mabel's son a blank cue-card, he continued; "My card."

"There's nothing on it." Monty said, handing it back to him.

"Was there supposed to be? Well then, I happen to be Bill Cipher, world's best and only dream-demon, base of your nightmares, part-time psychopath and full-time master of the mind. Of course I already know who you are Pine Tree the second, dead ringer for Shooting Star's meddling twin."

"My name's not Pine Tree, it's Monty..."

"Isn't that what I said? Anyways now that we've gotten those _riveting _ introductions out if the way, you seem to be in need of a deal Shooting star."

"No. And shouldn't you be trapped in the dreamscape?" Mabel asked, still trying to walk away from him.

Bill shrugged.

"I didn't feel like being banished forever, so I took a break."

"That defeats the whole point of the banished forever purpose." She pointed out.

"I know. So about that deal then-"

Mabel stopped and turned to face the demon. Monty didn't expect this and crashed into her, but she did not pay attention to that. Crossing her arms the woman snapped;

"I'm not making a deal with you Bill."

"Of course not." He replied slyly.

Not liking the tone in his voice, Mabel said;

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You tell me."

"My you're feeling cryptic today."

"I like it, it helps in the whole; making a deal with-"

"No." The brunette said firmly..

"Well, it seems you're set in your ways for now. I guess I'll just take my leave. Deserting you to your own devices. With out help. The help that you probably need. And could easily get from the demon right in front of you! Again, fees included, but I'm sure we could work something out."

"Good."

"My feelings are hurt."

"I can tell."

"You know what to do if you change your mind." With that, the dream-demon left in the same way he come. By vaniahing into thenight.

Shaking her head, Mabel continued to walk. After his first ever encounter with Bill, Monty said quiet for a while, musing over what his mother and the demon had been talking about. It was clear that he already knew his mother; why else would he have nick names for her and his uncle?

But if she knew him, why wouldn't she want his help?Asides from the fact he was crazy, he seemed a little, off. And come to think of it, evil people were always the best dressed. You'd truly have to be determined in your villainous ways to wear a top hat and tie while in the middle of the forest. Not to mention there was that darker undertone in his voice that seemed to say;

"I can see right through you and beyond, I'll be getting my way no matter what you agree to..."

It didn't quite set the boy on edge, it sounded oddly familiar to him...

"Who was he?" Monty asked, hoping his mother would have a clearer version of events.

"Bad news." She replied brusquely.

"Worse then-"

"He's on par with him, they vary from time to time though. Bill is a handful, and he happens to know, and absolutely loves it. Assume every thing he says isn't completely true and you'll start to see past the Willy Wonka façade."

"Is he really a demon?"

"Dream-demon. He doesn't go around persuading people to sell their souls to him, but if he asks for whatever reason, don't do it. Don't even make a regular deal with him. Just. Throw some holly water or something and run away."

"But if he doesn't tell the truth, then what about what he just told me?"

"Let me rephrase what I said. Everything but when Bill talks about himself is a lie or twist if words in some way or another. The only way you'll catch that egomaniac being honest is when he can go on about how amazing he is. But that's beside the point."

Facing her son, she sternly said;

"Bottom line, he's dangerous."

They went back to quickly walking, leaving Monty to farther wonder about the demon. If his mother had tangled with him before, then clearly she knew what she was talking about. But what had he done?

"What happened the last time you saw him?"

Mabel did not seem to hear him, she had frozen

"Do you hear that?" The brunette whispered.

"Hear what?"

The full meaning of these words set in on him. Mabel squeezed the boy in a bone-crushing hug in an attempt to stay strong and not cry in front of her son. Monty, on the other hand was sniffling until he could no longer take it and began to openly cry.

"Shhh. It's ok." Mabel soothed, her voice wavering as she rubbed his back. "We're safe now, we're never going to have to see him again. Not ever."

After what felt like a short time and an eternity mixed together, it was over. They were safe for the time's being. The revelation kept returning to him like a cool breeze scattering the warm air on a humid summer's day, the weight was lifted from the relatively small boy's chest. The idea just seemed so fantastic, so whimsical it was almost impossible to belive. It had only been a month, thirty-one days with the devil. But the fractured family had escaped. No one would ever be able to hurt his mother again as long as he could help it.

Eventually, the tears mixed of joy and sorrow dried, and Monty realized how tired he still was. His mother did too, so she slouched against one of the forest's innumerable trees and let him sit on her lap. She pulled him into a hug, cradling her eight year-old boy as if he were a newborn baby. Slowly, he found himself lulled to sleep while Mabel said;

"I'll stay awake so you can sleep through the night..."

* * *

True to her word, Mabel was still awake the next morning. Barely at that. The woman found herself begin to blink tiredly before jerking back awake again, remembering what she had told the boy. In an effort to stay awake, Mabel watched the morning unfold around her.

Squinting in the dawn's early light, she could see two silhouettes of deer, a doe and her fawn, trot by them evidently on their way home, no stag was present, It seemed like a good sign to her, that she and Monty would like the deer, be fine. What she did not see, was the lone wolf stalking them because presently, the woman was engrossed in identifying the calls of all the birds.

Birds had started to wake, announcing this through their various cries. Ranging from the shrill notes of woodpeckers, to the more angry and boisterous twittering of robins, the ghostly throbbing call of a mourning dove, and the whip-whip-whippoorwill from the so appropriately named whippoorwill. Wait. Whippoorwill's were native to the South, not Gravity Falls.."Attack!"

Mabel moved herself and Monty out of the way, just on time to miss the onslaught of gnomes. Monty, still fairly confused having just woken up was aware of his mother somehow boosting him into on of the trees and sternly saying;

"Keep climbing and stay there no matter what."

Having never heard his mother use this tone before, Monty did as he was told and farther scaled the birch tree untill he was at least five meters off the ground. Here, the tree's whippy branches could no longer support his weight, so it was where the boy remained. He looked down, worried for his mother. He saw she had been crudely tied to the tree while a few hundred gnomes surrounded her.

"What do you want Jeff?" She asked, with none of the timidness she had used around Bill.

The only gnome with a brown beard said;

"Belive it or not we're not here to ask for your hand. This time." He added under his breath.

"Oh so you've menacingly snuck up on my son and I, and continued to tie me to a tree all for fun?"

"Well it was sort of fun." A gnome next to Jeff said.

Jeff slapped the other gnome in an almost comical way and said;

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was." Another to his left chimed in.

Jeff slapped him too and asked;

"Anybody else?"

"But assembling a giant army of gnomes was fun." A voice in the back of the crowd said.

"Who said that?!"

A gnome raised his hand.

"Steve, Jason, who ever you are, slap yourself. Now."

The gnome slapped himself and gave a small cry of pain.

"Better.".

"Exactly.""Now, where were we?"

"So why exactly are you doing this?" Mabel asked, feeling annoyed and amused at the banter between all of the gnomes.

"We didn't really have much choice in the matter," Jeff explained. "I mean seriously, you actually let Gideon keep the pig whistle?!"

The woman felt the colour drain from her face, and any sense of calm she had before was replaced with panic.

"Y-you're working for G-Gideon?" She stuttered, now trying to pull away from the ropes.

"Yes. As a matter of fact," He said, pausing for a moment as he listened to the forest, "He's on his was right now."

Already, Mabel could hear what he was going say to her, do to her if he found them. The woman shivered, there was no way she could live through it again, she would fall into a million pieces. That was, she would if that wouldn't leave Monty alone in the world.

"There's no escape for ya'll Mabel Pines, and I'm just going to have to make that a well established fact in that pretty lil' head o' yours. But first, what to do about that darlin' lil' Dipper look-alike of yours? How long can he go with out breathing again?"

"I can help... for a fee of course..."

Fighting back a sob, Mabel realized what she would have to.

"Triangulum, entangulum, venif-"

"No need for that tedious Latin and what not. I'm already here." Bill cut in, somehow balancing his weight at the top of one of the screamed at his sudden appearance, and nearly lost his balance in the tree, he was now holding onto on of it's limbs with both hands. Bill just rolled his eye and looked down at the group of gnomes plus Mabel. Seeing the familiar shade of yellow at the top of the tree, Jeff also narrowed his eyes and snapped;

"Well if it isn't everyone's favourite corn chip."

This caught the demon's attention and he called down to the gnomes;

"How are ya' doing, Santa Clause?"

"Pythagora's theorem!"

"Lawn ornament!"

"Math equation!"

"Shmebulock!" Shmebulock chimed in.

"Funeral director!"

"Funeral director?"

"Is there an echo in here? Funeral director!"

"How is that even an insult?" Bill asked.

"Well you know, you've got the little hat and the tie, and you always see people wearing them at funerals..." Jeff trailed off, seeing how his insult lost it's sting.

"W-what exactly was all t-that about?" Mabel asked.

"They don't like each other because everyone says their voices sound the same." A gnome explained to her.

Bill and Jeff turned to face the speaker.

"I do not!" They both said simultaneously.

"So, do we have a deal then?" She ventured.

"I don't know, do we? I'll keep up my end, but what can you give in return?"

The woman began to panic realizing of course nothing could ever be easy with him. What could she give? Dipper had the journals, but he was off in South America ironically hiding them away. And she had said it herself that dream-demons have no real use for souls. Bill seemed to guess what she was thinking because he said;

"You really should have thought about this before hand you know."

"How am I supposed to know exactly what you, the supposed mysterious shadow, want?" Mabel asked, feeling tears begin to sting in her eyes again.

"Too bad," The demon replied with a shrug, "Think of something and we'll have a deal. But until then I'll be-"

"Watching you?" She asked, trying to stop him from leaving.

"Actually, I was going to say waiting to see what came to mind. Maybe a few-" he placed a foot on Monty's hand, forcing her son to let go, "Promts might help you."

Still being tied to the tree by the gnomes, Mabel could not see much above her, yet could tell that Monty was still in the tree above her. A group of gnomes was standing under the spot ready to catch him should he fall.

"Don't you dare touch him!" The brunette snarled, trying to push away from the bonds.

"You mean like this?" He asked, prying the boy's index finger away from the limb.

A sudden chill ran through her as she realized unless she found a way to get him on her side, the demon would willingly help the gnomes in their slightly forced side-project with Gideon. Starting with handing Monty over to the albino.

Surely there would be even less mercy for her once he found them. He would do worse than kill Monty and hurt her. She had just promised to the little boy that they would never have to see that monster again, and if the woman did not do something soon, she would have broken it. The thought of it, ever having to see her son like that again overcame her, and she openly let tears flow down her face.

"It's only a limited time offer." He cheerfully added, wrenching another finger away from the branch.

Gideon would find them and it would be all her fault. She though she could keep her son away from it all, but she had been wrong, terribly wrong...

"Don't worry, it's only a few feet. After all he's just only your son." The demon added, farther rubbing salt into the wound. He flicked away the boy's pinkie.

Monty gritted his teeth, trying not to frighten his mother. He wouldn't actually send him falling through the air would he? The demon would stop at the last possible second. He was trying to scare his mother into making a deal with him. Just then, his words were now directed at him."How old are you?" He asked in a sickeningly nice fashion.

"S-seven." He managed to huff, feeling the nerves in his two remaining fingers strain farther under his weight.

The demon leaned closer to him.

"Pine Tree could multiply triple digits at eight, can you?"

"Well, yes actually." He stuttered, wondering why he was being compared to his uncle.

"So you would know what six hundred and eighteen times zero is?"

"It's zero." He replied in a flash.

"Just like the number of fingers you now have holding onto the tree."

* * *

The demon prepared to fling the boy into the mercies of gravity when all at once, Gideon appeared through the trees and Mabel began to scream and cry at the sight of him and what the voice above her had just said. Yet the blond stopped as a few of her hysterical and strident words stood out to him.

"Please! I'll do anything! Just get us away from here! Anything at all!"

It was the phrase he had been waiting to hear from her all along. The demon gave a frigid smile at the boy and whispered;

"Next time you won't be as lucky kiddo."

He twirled his hand and a pig whistle appeared in his hand. He gave a sharp blow on it, disarming the gnomes.

"I think you all know what you should do now."

Jeff scowled and said;

"Change of plans guys, out new target, it him." He pointed a stubby finger at Gideon. "Gnomes of the forest, attack!"


	7. Hourglass 2

**Another installation to the "Hourglass" series, these plot bunnies were staaaaarviiing! Jeeze I should feed them more often.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.**

* * *

Instantly, Gideon was overwhelmed with the wave of gnomes, biting, scratching, and clawing at his hair and shins. As the young man screamed and ran away, the demon picked up Monty by the shoulders and set him on the ground.

Shaking off the creepy feeling of where the demon had held onto his shoulders, Monty watched his mother nervously. Mabel did not even acknowledge him, or the fact that they were safe. Then it hit him, they weren't safe. She had just made a deal with someone she had said was worse than Gideon. He had never seen her cry in all the time she had suffered under the albino, not after a threat nor a slap did she ever break down in front of him. And yet these few words were enough to do so.

The demon strode over to the still crying Mabel and untied her while she continued to sob. As soon as she was free, she nearly tumbled over from standing still for so long. He caught the woman and let her cry into his jacket, slightly disgusted by the extreme emotions from her. It wasn't the first time he had a client become hysterical with what they had just done. Rather than try to comfort her, he simply said;

"Look at me,"

She did so.

"Now stare deeply into my eyes..." He snapped his fingers and the woman instantly fell asleep.

"W-what did you do to her?" Monty asked, unsure of what to do now.

"Who said all hypnotists were frauds? She's too hysterical to think straight, not much sleep didn't help her mind either."

He grunted a little under her weight as she awkwardly slouched against him. Monty found his hair standing on edge as he tried to get a better hold around her waist.

"I can hold her." He offered, not wanting the man to be anywhere near her.

"Sure you can." He said, rolling his eyes. But he gave her to the boy anyways. Monty winced at how heavy she was, but did not say so. He stood there waiting, wondering what was going to happen next.

"Your head's going to feel a little strange," The blond said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "But other than that, you'll be fine. So here we go..."

_Go..._

_Go..._

_Go..._

* * *

Shivering slightly, Monty braced himself for the worst. His world flashed black and white before him, swirling slowly into one giant whirlwind of grey. He thought he heard the demon laughing and screaming all at the same time, his mother crying, and another voice sternly saying something to the demon. The three voices swirled into the mix all morphing into one sound.

"Montgomery..."

"Montgomery..."

"Monty..."

"Wake up! Snap out of it!" Bill said, waving a hand in front of the boy's face.

"Wait... wa-?" He managed to say confused.

"You don't travel much do you?"

"Not with evil demons no." He replied, a little bravado returning to him.

"What's the whole point of puting evil in front if the word demon? There's no other kind."

"Cut me some slack, I'm only seven."

"Said the seven year old..." Bill muttered under his breath. Yes indeed a carbon copy of Dipper Pines was five too many.

Monty looked around curiously, wondering where exactly he was. It was all white, there seemed to be no floor or anything beneath them, yet they could still walk around. The demon seemed to be guessing what he was thinking, no surprise really. He answered;

"For better lack of explanation, we're waiting for the artists to fill in the story board. Currently, we're on a blank sheet of paper."

"That still doesn't make much sense."

The demon ignored him.

"If you don't mind Alex, I'd like a background please!" He called into what was presumably the sky. "Man, I can never get anything done with that slacker hanging around."

Soon enough, a few grey lines began to run along what one could call the walls and floor. Some were darkened, and a few vanished before slightly different ones took their places. The ones that remained became darker as if being drawn over by black ink. Now he could see a few things, a table or two some floorboards. The demon waved his hand and a chair literally drew itself behind him. Then, things became coloured by the unseen forces, filling in the strange spaces. A background had literally been drawn for them.

"H-how is that even-"

"Possible?"Bill asked, "We're in the mind, anything is here. Just try not to think about it too hard and you'll be fine."

He waved his hand again and a chair appeared behind Monty.

"Have a seat. Also, desk please!"

Monty sat down as a desk appeared too. It was then the boy realized he wasn't holding onto his mother anymore. Bill merely waved off his rising panic and indicated over to where Mabel was still sleeping on a couch.

"Any ideas as to where we are?"

"As in-"

"The building yes, didn't I just tell you were were in the mind?"

"You never let me finish... The Mystery shack, except it's never this clean..."

"That's for sure."

The two sat awkwardly, unsure about what to say now. It was Monty who spoke up first.

"Are you going to hurt my mother?" He asked, remembering the promise he had made to himself and the familiar Gideon-ish look he had been giving her since she had sealed the deal.

Not expecting such a simple question from the child, he was unsure as of what to tell him. After all, he was still a kid of course, not just a short version of Dipper. The kid's though process was not that complex yet.

Seeing as he remained silent, Monty continued;

"Because you can hurt me instead, I won't let her defend me like before."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I said, I won't let her stop you from hurting me if it means you'll leave her alone."

"I'm still not following you on this. Considering you haven't done anything completely annoying, why would I want to hurt you?"

"Because I look like Dipper." He explained as if it answered all the questions in the world.

"That doesn't justify hitting you though."

"Gideon says it does."

"Gideon's a deranged psychopath." He retorted.

"What does that mean?"

"Bad. Evil, you know, crazy."

"Like you?"

"When did I say I was evil or crazy?"

"But you just told me all demons are evil, there's no other kind." The boy said, waving his arms.

"That doesn't explain the crazy part."

"You're not crazy?" Monty asked.

"Of course I am! But I'm crazy with style and poise. I don't go around hitting little defenceless kids because they look like someone."

Monty looked at him confused.

"He didn't really hit me that much." The boy said softly.

The demon felt a small pique of curiosity at this.

"Then what did he do to you?" He asked, wondering if Gideon had the gall to do the first rhing that came to mind.

"He was really mean, and he'd always-"He placed his arms around his neck, unsure as of what to call the action.

"He strangled you?"

He nodded.

"There are a lot of marks on my arms too." He added, rolling up his sleeves.

The blond's eyes flitted to his arms for a moment before looking away again. He stood up, not wanting to see the sight. Instead, he walked over to Mabel and stared down at her sleeping form. Monty followed nervously making sure he didn't try to do anything to his mother while she slept. But he did not notice the boy as he was too engrossed in his thoughts.

"The kid's smart, but a hundred percent Shooting Star past all that bravado. He'd trust me easily enough if the last person he was around was short-stack too. It would tear her to shreds if she saw her only son getting along with me, she'd never want to see the light of day again..."

He smiled as a plan formed in his mind. Monty had no idea what he was smiling at and naturally assumed it was his mother. So, he fiercely stomped on the man's toes, snapping him out of his reverie. Rather than turn on him like Monty expected, Bill silently walked outside. The boy heard him scream in pain and yell a few heated words for extra measure before calmly walking inside and saying;

"That didn't really hurt, but what the hell was that for?!"

Monty flinched at his tone but steadily replied;

"You were smiling at her."

"So?"

"You don't like her, so you were planing on doing something bad to her while she slept."

"No I wasn't." The demon hastily said.

"You're lying."

"Change of subject, change of subject, change of subject!" He thought to himself.

"So is Monty a nick name for something?"

"You're trying to change the subject, but yes, it's short for Montgomery. What about you?"

"I would never try to do something so underhanded." He fibbed, "My real name's too long to pronounce."

"Yes you are. And how is William too long to pronounce?"

"No I'm not. And don't ever say that name again."

"William?"

"You just said it again!" Bill snapped.

"Why what's wrong with it? Don't longer names typically make people sound evil? Bill Cipher sounds like the name of a cereal mascot."

"What?! No it doesn't!"

"Say a slogan for anything right now."

"Buy our products. Now. Bill Cipher approved?"

"See what I mean?"

"I suppose you're right, _Montgomery."_

"It's just Monty."

"Pine Tree the second?" He teased.

"Monty."

"Pine Tree junior?"

"Mon. Ty." The boy said, stressing the syllables.

"Slightly shorter Pine Tree?"

"Monty. And where did Pine Tree come from? Who in their right mind comes up with a nick name like that?"

"I thought we went over this, I'm not in my right mind. But do you see what I'm getting at here? You go by Monty, and I go by Bill. Not William, not corn chip, just. Bill.

"Why would someone choose the name Just Bill Cipher?"

"Please stop talking." The demon snarled.

Much to his surprise, Monty did not say anything. Instead, he began to curiously look around the room. It was Soos's break room down to the last fragment of dust. The only differences he could find was that there was a strange blue carpet with yellow arrows on it, and the whole room was clean and not under a layer of dust and storage boxes. After a few curious minutes of exploring, Monty came back to his mother and sat down on the floor, carefully watching her deep breaths.

He did the same, except standing. The blond smirked. It was even easier than he had expected to quell the boy's fears. After a few suspicions had been pushed astray Monty had talked with out hesitation, even daring to poke fun at him. His grin faded as what the boy had said about him came back, and he had to restrain himself from screaming bloody murder at him.

Oh well, at least hs was naïve enough to trust him in the slightest. He found himself grinning again as the pure terror on Mabel's face as she discovered her son could ever decide to trust him. He gave a sigh of pure exhilaration. Oh yes he'd be certain to make her sorry for all these years...

He began to study the woman's face, yes he could easily see the pain that would rip through her worse than anything she would ever experience at his hands. She still had those paralyzingly innocent doe eyes and curly chestnut coloured hair. It had been a while since he had last seen her, but now her lips were less full then he had remembered.

Come to think of it, there was something off about her appearance. Her cheekbones stuck out more than ever before, and her seemingly peaceful breaths looked more like a fight with gravity. It was then he realized what was wrong. He turned to Monty to confirm his suspicions. While the boy looked better off than her, he was clearly too thin to be healthy. They were both starving.

"Monty." He began, the name soundingstrange coming from him, the king of nicknames.

The boy jumped a little, he was trying not to fall asleep but he roused himself.

"When was the last time you and your mother ate?"

"I don't know," he said with a yawn, "A week, maybe two. I think mom hasn't eaten for three."

"You need something to eat then." He stated obviously.

This caught his attention and Monty glared at him, trying to figure out what angle he was working at.

"All right, you caught me on that one." He fake surrendered, "I don't want you to keel over dead from starvation."

Monty wrinkled his nose and said;

"Maybe after mom wakes up, I can't just leave her here."

There was something else in his voice that indicated; "With you."

Waving a hand, the demon gave him a plate with some bread.

"You can't have anything too rich after starving, you'll end up dead either way." He explained.

Monty took a hesitant nibble, disliking the feeling as the demon carefully watched him. Eventually, his eyes flitted else where, bored with the whole endeavour. Monty took another bite. Seeing as whatever poison he would have put in it didn't have immediate effects, Monty decided he may as well die full. Quickly, he polished off the remaining slices glad it at least helped ward off the fatigue.

Now he was able to more carefully observe the demon. He could easily see why his mother had warned him not to trust him. He was charismatic for someone so evil, and he did have a Willy Wonka air to him. Hopefully sans taffy puller. That part always scared him...

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Bill asked, rolling his eye.

"Everything! Just appearing out of nowhere and all that demon-y stuff."

"Well, asides from the fact that I can do those demonic things because newsflash, I'm a demon, anything you imagine in the mind easily-" He vanished, "Appear." He finished behind him.

"So if I just-"

Bill's hat disappeared and was replaced with a horribly pink and femine one. Monty was now holding the top hat, amused.

"Hey!"

With a slightly exaggerated flourish, the demon switched hats with Monty, but then his bow tie was replaced with an ugly necklace that matched the pink hat. The demon turned it back into a bow tie, saying under his breath;

"The only things I own these days and a Pines has already stolen them."

He laughed to himself at the irony in this, but sternly said to Monty;

"Let me rephrase that. You can do anything but mess around with my hat and tie. They're the only things stopping me from being three-foot two."

"Can't you just imagine yourself taller?"

"That's not the same!" He snapped. "So just, don't do that! Understand?"

Monty nodded.

"Good. Now I have important evil master of the mind stuff that I need to work on, so stay here. And don't do anything completely idiotic. Your mother shouldn't wake up for a while, so just stay right there. Right. There."

"I get it." Monty brushed off, "I won't do anything like switch your hat with a different one or destroy the whole universe."

"Don't be so sure about that." He muttered darkly before vanishing.

* * *

Having finished off a few of the more tedious jobs of being a demon, he sat at his favourite desk. It happened to be floating in the middle of the air, along with several other book cases and filing cabinets. For some reason, they were all devoid of colour. Whether this was because no one wanted to colour them or the lay out of his own mind, he was unsure.

A few books served as stairs, actually hovering under one's feet if they chose to walk or were unable to float. Even then, they still tailed him should he somehow be knocked out of the air. It was simply an interesting place to be, as if he was in the upper floors of a sky scraper, minus walls and a floor.

Currently, he was pretending to write up his contract for Mabel, while in actuality he was fantasizing the woman as she finally broke.

She would stand there, shocked. Slowly, she would begin to tremble as if she were freezing cold as his words continued to echo in her once cheerful mind. He could easily feel himself whispering into her ear exactly what he was going to do, her fragrant hair would tickle his nose a little as he did so. She would ask for a compromise, a change, anything. And he would simply hold out the contract with a grin, knowing all along that this would be her undoing.

Then, only then would she cry. She would wail, she would sob, each tortured breath being music to his ears. Her innocent, beautiful eyes would become stinging and red with salty pain. Her throat would feel like it was slowly trying to strangle itself. And her stomach would be in slimy knots as everything relayed to her. She would break into a million fragments of glass, the wind would scatter what little she had left to hold onto.

And he would be in the center of it all. Every last little bit of hatred he felt towards her and built up over the years would be fighting, pushing the woman to the point of no return. There would never be a gorgeous smile to lighten someone's day, or a cheery remark to counter his cynical ones. She would be completely empty; never again would she be able to spring back, grin and bear it, recover. Once before he had tried the trick, yet she had managed to escape. Not unscathed of course, but nevertheless free. This time, he wouldn't fail.

"Yet," he realized with a frown, "What could do that to her? What could be so possibly terrible as to send her around the bend?"

That, was the part he was having trouble with. Staring back down at the contract, he had no idea what he wanted from her. Not a wisp of an idea ever came to him. She had promised anything, but he did not know what he wanted from it. It was why he had waited for her to say it in the first place. He had never expected her to make a deal with him, it was another one of the things that he had only ever dreamed about. Now, he had all the time in the world to think it over. But did he want her to know that? Perhaps under a time limit, he could push some unspoken fear out of her.

Seeing as this was only the deal concerning the promise of anything, he began to copy down the first few paragraphs from memory. After that, he filed out the part showing he had fulfilled his end of the bargain. Here, he allowed the cursive to become a little too flashy and elegant. Eventually, he came to the part that differed from deal to deal. Pausing a moment, something came to him. He thought back to something Monty had said to him earlier. The demon allowed a smile to cross his face. Perfect.


	8. Into Thin Air

**You hear that? That is the sound of an army of plot bunnies running rabid in my mind. Because this is the prologue, it's a shorter chapter, but we'll have 2,000+ words for the rest of the story. I'm trying out a new writing style with this chapter. Tell me what you think before I write any nore of the story in this way.**

**Title: Into Thin Air**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Bill comes to the Pines twins, begging for them to make a deal with him before it's too late. Eventually, he persuades Mabel in to doing so. Naturally, Dipper not being one to leave his sister alone with yours truly, joins on the adventure of an immortal life time. But is Bill really what he seems? Mabel begins to discover that maybe he is more human than he boasts as questions of his origin come in to play. What is a demon to do whe he really isn't one at all? How does the forgotten life of William Cipher come in to play? Is there anything left for him when everything has faded into thin air?**

**Genres: Mystery/Supernatural/Romance/Family/Hurt/Comfort/**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls**

* * *

To Mabel Pines, it just felt like one of those days. What one of "those" days exactly felt like was difficult to say the least. It was similar to the final stroke of an artist's paint brush, or the sensation of all absolute calm in the hectic world before all hell boke loose. It gave one the idea that something strange and not of this world was coming. Tension and curiosity filled the air as one waited. And waited. This was a common feeling when it came to Gravity Falls. It was a sixth sense Dipper and Mabel (Along with Stan and Soos if they would admit it.) had developed and honed over the years. The alarm bell that rang in their minds and seemed to say; _Something is going to happen. Something big. And we all know it's definitely attributed to Gravity Falls weirdness. _

It left them restless as they waited for it to happen. What ever that it may be. The twin's first meeting with Gideon, or the rainy day when they had met the most dangerous creature of Gravity Falls. What ever this next trial in their life was going to be, it would come inevitably. When, where, and what would remain a mystery. At least, some of them would. Because the change in their lives would come right about-

"-Now!" Mabel said to herself.

But as no other tourists came through the door, she pouted. It had been a painfully slow day at the Mystery Shack, a grand total of five people had visited today. And one of them was Old Man McGucket, who was more animal than human as per usual. Because of the strange feeling that had plagued her all day, she was counting down every few seconds, expecting someone to barge in to the gift shop, so she could heroically save the day with her grappling hook.

"Right. About. Now!"

Everything remained still. The brunette gave a sigh of disgust. Why did she have to suffer through such boredom? It was tearing her mind to pieces. Stan had banned her from having Candy and Grenda over while she worked after several tourists got in the way of one of their flash make overs, and she had long grown bored of looking at all the trashy things Stan sold in the Shack. Once you had seen one counterfeit unicorn skull, you had seen them all. She flipped through one of the boring magazines hidden behind the counter, uninterested.

Just then, the anticipated tourist walked through the door. Mabel continued to pretend to read the magazine, not wanting to scare away the only possibly interesting thing that had happened all day. She gave the young man a few curious glances between pages.

He was tall with sandy hair, and there was a sort of natural sanguine look to his face. It would have been more evident if he wasn't frowning a little as he inspected the gift shop. There was a hint of darker stubble on his face, only adding to his tired and defeated appearance.

_"Hmmm, maybe a six point five, seven?"_ Mabel wondered to herself, discreetly assigning him on her scale of handsomeness out of ten. _"If only I could tell what colour his eyes were... Just. Turn. Arrh! Just look this way goddammit!"_

"Excuse me sir, is there anything I can help you with?" She asked, hoping to get a glance of what ever colour his eyes were.

The young man turned to her and sighed. Walking a little closer to the counter, she was able to see what colour they were. A bright, solid, and very familiar yellow.

"Actually, there is Shooting Star."

* * *

Stanford Pines was very familiar with what Mabel's scream of absolute terror sounded like. Usually, she reserved it for Gideon. He couldn't blame her, the little creep. And while he would always deny that there was a supernatural side to the twins, he knew better than that. Dipper and Mabel always went on about how they just seemed to know when something was about to happen. And Stan would be lying to himself he said he didn't sense that sooner or later something would strike again.

Even if that day had not been slow on tourists, an all time low for him, the con man would have dropped everything with out a second thought to find out why she had screamed so loudly. Instinctively, his first thought was;

_"Gideon!"_

Followed by the logical;

_"But that's not possible, he's locked up for good."_

So what ever it was must have been just as bad or worse. Or so he thought until he ran in to the gift shop only to see one terrified looking young man being held up by a grappling hook wielding great-niece, and the world's laziest guard-pig.

"Mabel!" He reprimanded, "Don't scream like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"But Grunkle Stan-"

"No but's except his off of the floor!"

"But Stan he's-"

"A valued customer,"

"No he's-"

Dipper ran in to the shack, huffing and puffing.

"Mabel.. why did you-" He froze between struggling breaths, seeing the man being held prisoner on the floor. It took him less time than Mabel to deduce who he was, courtesy of the man's yellow eyes. The younger by five minutes twin yelped and picked up the nearest thing, a eight ball cane, and pointed it at the stranger.

"All right then, who is he exactly?"

Stan rolled his eyes, not betraying his rising panic at the situation. If Dipper, the normally level headed one was acting like this too, then there was an issue. He knew both twins had said something about meeting Bill before, but they had never talked about it again. Not just because of the whole Gideon taking over the Shack thing, but because it was something neither wanted to mention again.

He had caught both of them whispering about something occasionally, and come to think of it. Dipper had flinched as he handed him a dollar bill, and Mabel always stared at his decks of cards as if she could see through them when playing poker. Was there something he had been mising all along?

His eye sight may have been failing, but it was clear as day who was being held prisoner. Stan pretended not to see as Bill mouthed to his great-niece and nephew;

_"Don't tell."_

_"Subtitles never were your forté Cipher." _The old man reflected, _"Then again, what's subtle about a floating corn chip who sounds like a chipmunk mated with that stupid citrus character Mabel was always waxing on about?What was that called again? The irritating lime? The frustrating lemon? Hmm that sounds about right..."_

The twins shared a look, deciding they should lie to Stan.

"He's just been stalking Mabel for the past while. " Dipper explained, "Maybe he's related to Gideon. At this rate, who knows?"

Mabel did that annoyingly cute thing where she batted her eyelashes as if to say that they were completely innocent and how dare he accuse them of lying to their favourite great-uncle in the whole world. Playing the role of the protective father figure, Stan enjoyed chasing the demon off the property with the broom.

"And stay away!" He snarled, throwing the broom like a javelin at the young man.

Bill yelped at the broom actually stuck in to the tree behind him. In a split second, he vanished all together much to Stan's satisfaction. Wiping of his hands, he walked back to the porch where Dipper and Mabel had watched the spectacle. Fixing the twins with the evil eye, he said;

"Next time give me a warning or just say. I'm ok Stan."

For extra measure, he made sure to stomp off, muttering under his breath. What was he going to do with those two instant heart attacks (Just add Bill Cipher) working for him all summer?


End file.
